News Flash: The ancient Chinese who sailed to Saturn’s moon Titan in wooden sailing ships have just endorsed Barack Obama In an effort to help extend his appeal among people who claim he lacks experience in foreign policy.
“Barack is a good guy and we like him,” said Emperor Chung of the Saturnian dynasty. “We know that he’ll treat us fairly with open arms like he does communist countries in Eastern Asia. Our biggest wish for the upcoming years is to be given a chance to host the Olympics on Saturn, and we believe that Obama will find a way to let us do that if we just threaten him a little bit.”
“In addition,” said Chung, “We believe we can trust Obama, because we believe that he trusts us. He is the one who convinced us to delay our plans to conquer Earth.”
In related news, a fleet of 12,000 fully armed Chinese ships were seen sailing towards Earth this morning by the Cassini probe.
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